THE CONFLUENCE OF LINEAGES

The oldest ancestor I have heard of, from my dad, is his great grandfather. His name was Sh. Bihari Lal Banerjee and he worked as a senior officer in the British Indian Railways. His son, my great grandfather, Pt. Makhan Lal Banerjee, migrated from Kolkata to erstwhile Punjab where he was appointed as the Education Minister of the princely state of Patiala. He was the royal tutor of the ruling Maharaja of the state, Maharaja Sir Bhupinder Singh, who succeeded his father at the age of 9 to be in the throne. According to Wikipedia, “His then Education Minister, Pt. Makhan Lal Banerjee accompanied him to the summer capital of Chail and was also a well-known referee in cricket.” (His, here, refers to the Maharaja). Prior, Pt. Banerjee remained the Head of the English Department at Aitchison College, Lahore. Once, a British College Principal called him “Bloody Indian!” and Pt. ML Banerjee slapped him. My dad’s grandmother, Smt. Nandrani Banerjee, originally from West Bengal, moved to Patiala with her husband. She, I am told, was a rather quiet lady, and spent most of her life rearing her 13 children.

Their son, my grandfather, Sh. Moti Lal Banerjee, studied at Forman Christian College, Lahore and got selected in the PEPSU (Punjab and East Punjab States Union) Police Services (consisting of eight princely states of British India then) at the age of 18. He served for 40 years and had a rather complex time. He remained under suspension for 8 years at a stretch and over a decade in total and was known to be a man of uprightness, character and principles. He was committed to serving the public in the most honest way and this honesty cost him his career, affected his family badly and rose obstacles which unfolded gradually a few years down the line.

He married Smt. Hem Prabha Banerjee, my grandmother, who was the daughter of the once Foreign Minister of Kalsia Estate, Pt. Ram Saran Das Shandilya and Smt Subhadra Devi , who was a homemaker and hailed from Maharashtra. She lost her parents at 13. My grandmother was a Hindu Punjabi from Patiala and her brother brought her match to his friend, my grandfather, a Hindu Bengali. Both of them lived in Patiala in the ancestral haveli (mansion) that still stands there and exudes a rather eerie charm with a dilapidated structure. I have visited the quaint haveli a few times and also met the people who live there currently and heard stories from the past from the neighbourhood. Patiala also then happened to be my father’s and his three siblings’ birth place.

My elder uncle, Mr Manoranjan Banerjee remained into farming, transporting, property dealing, etc. He was among the first Hindus against whom the TADA (Terrorist and Disruptive Activities (Prevention) Act was charged at the age of just 25. He was falsely accused along with my grandfather in the Moti Lal Banerjee versus the State of Haryana case at 21, getting acquitted in both the cases. These incidents and the experience of injustice from a young age, that too while being innocent, changed him. He appears to have a robust and hard exterior and I have seen him like that since forever. I have observed a sense of authority and dominance in him but a latent sense of wanting to be loved and being free again. His younger brother, Mr Manoj Banerjee, also a transporter and now an advisor in an insurance company, was a little different. He went through really difficult times and overcame challenges throughout his life. He suffered major losses in business and lost almost everything facing financial crunch and hardships. As a child, I have, however, mostly seen him cracking jokes, laughing and being light hearted but as I grew older, I also realised that there is a lot behind that smile. My only aunt, Mrs Arpita Parbhakar, studied in India before getting married to a Hindu Punjabi businessman settled in Paris and she has been there ever since. All of them are married to non-Bengali spouses and have one son and one daughter each.

I have met my grandparents and all my uncles, aunt and their families. I was about 10 years old when I lost my grandfather to a road accident (2009). He had also been battling cancer but he never made us realise that with his very lively and supremely charismatic personality, he would make the biggest challenge look trivial and waded through all troubles with a smile. He had the art to make people his own. His way of carrying himself, talking and his immense knowledge about almost every field in the world, vast experiences and exposure, multilingualism, travel, and a sense of freedom he possessed made his seniors, colleagues, juniors, strangers, everyone his own. I remember hearing him narrate stories of a mouse to my younger sister in our childhood, calling my mom “Billo” with love and scratching his back with a brush because it would be itchy and I found this job rather weird but who knew that that was a way of connecting with him. He would drive his Fiat car even till his last day and travelled between Yamuna Nagar, Karnal and Patiala mostly. He was outspoken and did not calculate or manipulate things but would be brutally honest.

My relationship with my grandmother was, however, different. I saw her as a strict lady who was very particular about cleanliness and purity in her house. She was very religious and would pray at least twice a day, humming, chanting, lighting lamps, etc. I had hardly seen her laugh or being light hearted. However, it all changed when she suffered a paralytic attack in 2014. I became her carer along with my parents and sister and spent a lot of time with her, looking after her basic needs. She lost her speech and her right side of the body became dysfunctional. It is so ironic that it is when she became mute that I came closer to her and I finally lost her in 2017 during my first year of college after she had slipped into a coma for months. I regret not being able to attend her last rites because of being in Australia.

I have had a decent relationship with all my uncles and aunt and their families but I am relatively closer to Ms Amandeep Banerjee and Mr Mukaddar Ajeet Banerjee, two of my cousins, who are nearly my age and we bond well. In fact, we used to cry bitterly when we had to say goodbyes to come back home from theirs. Overall, I am grateful to all my paternal family members that I have known apart from the above mentioned: Mrs Rashmi (thanks for always being so loving and treating us with some of the best foods), Mrs Renu, Mr Davinder, Mr Ankit, Mr Divesh, Mrs Payal, Mrs Disha, Mr Varun, Mrs Sneha, Mr Mohit Chopra and Mrs Preeti. Special mention to my aunt (dad’s cousin), Mrs Ranjana Chopra, who lives in India and has given me aunt love and my uncle, Mr Om Prakash Chopra who inspires me with many aspects of his life.

On the other side is my maternal family. Sh. Fateh Chand’s son Sh. Jivan Ram, then Sh. Hans Raj, followed by my grandfather, Sh Ramesh Verma and his five siblings. He originally comes from Sheikhupura in erstwhile British India (now Pakistan) but his siblings and parents migrated to Karnal, Haryana following Partition where our family began. He started his life from scratch after most of the family wealth was lost and trauma seen, only to become an industrialist later and has also been a state- level Hockey champion. He is an inspiration to me for the way he perceives things, is agile, gregarious, lively and hearty. Nanu, as I fondly call him, is also a philanthropist and does a lot of social service with different organisations. He got married to Mrs Sushma Verma, whose ancestors were migrants in Delhi from Burma (today Myanmar) and Jhang in Pakistan. She was born and brought up in Delhi and spent some time in Bhopal, and finally, studied at Delhi University. Nani (maternal grandmother) is one of the most large-hearted, hospitable, loving and affectionate people I have ever seen… one hug and it’s all okay!

They gave birth to three children: Gagan, Parul and Gaurav. Ms Parul, my aunt, went through a toxic marriage, the pain of which also took her life with cardiac arrest when she was just 28. I loved her dearly and I remember nothing from my childhood but the moments spent with her. She worked as a Professor, a trained pilot, a bank officer, and was everything one aspires to be: brainy, gorgeous, kind, versatile and an achiever. I am so fortunate that I was able to meet her and know her and shall always cherish those memories. Her passing away was the first death and pain I had ever seen. My uncle, Mr Gaurav Verma, is very dear to me. He is an epitome of spirituality, wisdom and being alive to me and so I look up to him. He has beautiful kids, Yatharth (12) and Deepangana (9) and wife, Mrs Niharika. Apart from my first relatives is my extended family, my grandparents’ siblings and their families who remain a close-knit family to me even today. I have to say that my maternal family has been significant in raising me and has always nourished me with immense love and blessings.

Mr Mihir Banerjee and Mrs Gagan Verma Banerjee gave birth to me (1999) and Ananya (2003) in Karnal and we have lived mostly in Karnal and some time in Yamuna Nagar and that’s where the story begins…